Unlike the headmistress of Constance Billard, I believe in holding our Gossip children and their parents accountable for their behavior, which means that the grades this week will reflect their relentlessly ridiculous conduct and my evaporating tolerance for their totally illogical choices. In “Fire Walks With Z,” big secrets are OUT, new allegiances are IN, and the scores this week are … well, let’s just say I hope to see brighter performances from all our stars in the episodes to come. Brace yourself for a cold, cruel edition of the Gossip Girl Report Card.
Lola
Last week: B
She has a perfect blowout first thing in the morning, is just so happy to be here, and while she is trying very hard to win over Julien, she knows to respect boundaries (see: She didn’t show up to the birthday party). Not…
